Umm I'm too high to move.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize