I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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