if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
