And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
