I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
