Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
