So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
