you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
