Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
