Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
