Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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