If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize