so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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