It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
