i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
