You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
