He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
