but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
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Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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