It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
