Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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