And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
