Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
