Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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