So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
two words...techno handjob
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
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