he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
