I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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