What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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