If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Vodka?
Forever.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize