she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
