He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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