I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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