after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
