Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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