i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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