She's JV to your varsity
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
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sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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