not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
