omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
