I love black thongs
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I need water and some morals
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