Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
id be glad to
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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