Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
