when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
