I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
