were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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