You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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