also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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