Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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