It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Bring me that man meat
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
