Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
