the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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