the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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