his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
