I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
