You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
