so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
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I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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