You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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