That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
