I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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