I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
