I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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