it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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