Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
