There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
