i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
