I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
